Operate from Value

There is a place called Value that resembles you having your peace and leaving another with their peace at the end of an argument. Operating from Value also occurs when you are in another’s company and you notice an enhanced emotion or wellbeing versus an observation of melancholy or sadness from your engagement – where the former, is adding value to the outcome. I had a conversation with my teen this morning that left me teary-eyed not because it was a sad conversation, but more so a dialog that had me hoping she’d share the same with her offspring one day.

House boat near in NOC: Nantahala Outdoor Center. 9/20/2020

“Always operate from a place of Value” when you have relationships with people, I explained. Her eyes hinted at a further explanation and I began to share the following with her. Any time you are with someone, e.g. friend, relative, significant other, aunt, parent or in a professional setting, you want to aim at leaving the table having had a positive impact on the person’s life where the next encounter brings not only joy but spiritual uplifting and emotional wellbeing for both parties, particularly the other party. Before she could ask what I meant, I elaborated using myself as an example.

At 49-years old in October, I am welcoming situations that add value to either my presence, life, emotional state, holistic wellbeing and time because anything or anyone that goes against this desire or request is negating from my self-healing, growth and presence. Too often we see couples break up to later learn they are now at each other’s throat because of a promise made that now, suddenly, cannot be trusted from the other’s mouth who they previously loved. Crazy? No, accurate. What about a situation that invites a misunderstanding and now both parties involved are leaving the table with inconceivable stress that didn’t exist before?

Both aforementioned vignettes are discounts to one’s health; thus, taking away from what could have been avoided to begin with. Adding Value simply means enhancing one’s present situation, e.g. offering a smile to brighten up their day; validating their point of view or emotion or even something as simple as trusting their truth because from this delivers an exchange of harmony, peace, respect and dignity. Conversely, when we don’t bring Value with us, we do just the opposite: we deposit reservations, invite stress, create strife and may leave emotional scars that are all sometimes challenging to correct yet are unavoidable.

How do we add Value? Arriving at the answer is simple, yet not simply stated because one may say ‘treat the person the way you want to be treat,’ which begs a question? Is the person doing the treatment treating her/himself the way s/he ‘knows’ is the best treatment for themselves?! Therefore, adding Value requires you to assess and evaluate your purpose by looking from the outside in and arriving at your answer when you know that your objective should be to leave the person in a better state of mind or in a better emotional space.

So, if you find this a challenging task – don’t, just envision how you could benefit if you were the recipient! Promise yourself to add Value and if you are incapable of doing so, don’t negate. Don’t take away! Aim to always ADD!

– Blossom

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Ridding Yourself of Clutter

I recently read Oprah Winfrey’s book, titled “What I Know For Sure” at the recommendation of a dear friend, my daughter’s Papa. Our conversation initially began with the normal chats about co-parenting but ended with a discussion about great books I can read, and he suggested this one along with a few others. As I combed through each page, highlighting what resonated most, I further shared excerpts with friends and posted some on Facebook that were both inspiring and thought provoking. The takeaway: to make conscious decisions about why I shop for what I do when, where and how often.

Now notice how each bold word usually leads to a thoughtful response because they are used in open-ended questions; however, I could not find a satisfying answer to justify my actions – a rude reality, particularly because this is my last year in the 40s club.

“I hope the way you spend your money is in line with the truth of who you are and what you care about.”

– Oprah Winfrey

I call this blog ‘Ridding Yourself of Clutter’ because I have firsthand knowledge of how accumulating items on a regular is like hitting the cruise control in your car without sensing your speed, i.e. you buy because you have the power to do so; you have the money to spend; you are replacing a personal emotion you can’t quite kick or you are following the Jones’ and must remain in the game. Whatever your reasons – they are your reasons because I have my own. However, I am challenging you to buy with a conscious mind that has purpose. No, you don’t have to do anything … nor am I suggesting, but I’d like to energize you to adapt to something different that can bring spiritual awareness and personal satisfaction.

Buy plants (see image below), rearrange your bedroom, practice yoga, watch less TV, read more, walk around the block, take a drive up the mountains and the list continues. If you’re wondering how reducing one’s buying habit relates to the list of things you can do in its place I’d like to explain the tradeoff. When you turn off the cruise control in your car you then begin to feel the speed at which you are traveling that directly correlates with awareness practices, such as the ones described. Above is an image of what happened when I turned off my cruise control, as I continue to sort through what to keep and what to sell.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather boost my mood, add life to my sterile office space at home – especially during these times, brighten up my day with a little outside inside my home (e.g. plants are living organisms) and increase my concentration, which are all believed benefits of having a plant. So, kudos to Oprah Winfrey when she wrote “When you define yourself by the things you can acquire rather than see what you really need to be happy and fulfilled, you’re not just living beyond your means or overextending yourself. You’re living a lie.”

So to you, the reader, come join me on this pursuit to simplicity. It may be challenging at the start but you need only be willing because the first step will take you forward when you begin to realize the calming benefits of Ridding Yourself of Clutter. Above is a couch that sits in my bedroom and confronts me to commit to wellness each day before I begin my work.

Until next time be kind to yourself and be safe, keep and stay well…